Mud races refuse to use toilets even when made available – they prefer to go around crapping on the ground. Forty-eight percent of India still squat down and crap whenever and wherever the urge strikes. Everywhere you drive in South Africa, you will be treated by the sight of Africans pissing on side walks, against trees, fences and walls, or defecating in full view of passers by. Even buildings, offices and shopping malls reek of urine & faecal matter, especially in underground parking lots and even elevators are turned into urinals.

Regular outbreaks of typhoid and cholera is the order of the day, as jungle bunnies fail to wash their hands and will often use their bare hands to wipe their butts with. Consequently many South Africans unwittingly ingest large amounts of faecal matter on a daily basis as they eat food cooked and served by filthy simians in restaurants & fast food takeaways. South African drinking water feature e.coli levels thousands of times higher than the internationally accepted norm, as collapsing black-mismanaged municipalities either fail to treat the water with appropriate chemical processes, or purposely pump raw sewage into dams like the Hartebeespoort, Vaal and other major dams. In October 2007, more than 200 MILLION litres of raw sewage was pumped into the Apies, Hennops and Pienaars rivers in and around Johannesburg due to power failures.

Numerous horror stories abound: for example, the Edendale hospital in Natal had their incinerator furnaces break down, and so for months on end, hazardous human waste including not only faecal matter, but tissue such as amputated limbs, cancerous organs cut from patients, dead foetuses, afterbirth and the entire gamut of horrific bits & pieces were thrown in the nearby Duzi river. Further downstream a number of fish farms noticed their stock becoming rather fat and well-nourished, and seafood lovers happily munched away on yummy fish dishes until someone blew the whistle on what amounted to a cannibalistic food chain which came full circle…and gave new meaning to the term “you are what you eat”.

Just imagine the menu at your local seafood restaurant…grilled trout with brain tumour stuffing…baked catfish with gallstone gravy…smoked salmon smothered in lung cancer biopsy medallions…fried halibut served with boiled ovarian cysts, gangrenous galleon seafood cocktail…
HMMM YUMMY!

Also in Natal somewhere, black roadside vendors were doing a roaring trade in fish, crabs and crayfish, selling oversized crustaceans to an eager public, until by accident it was discovered that these delicacies were actually bred in pit latrines at the nearby squatter camp…perhaps the Jews have pretty good sense with their kosher food laws!

Due to the high number of HIV/AIDS related deaths, cemeteries all over the country are overflowing. There has been numerous incidents of illegal burial grounds, or incompetent town planners allowing expansion of bone yards into regions where the underground water table is shallow. As a consequence, the water table rises close to the surface, immersing rotting corpses in their graves and allowing dangerous bacteria to contaminate water. One example of this is the Panorama cemetery in Roodepoort.

Many a “clever dick” South African sick & tired of actual worms slithering out of their drinking water taps, have taken to sinking boreholes in their back yards so as to avoid having to drink the contaminated municipal water, yet are unwittingly ingesting much more dangerous water polluted with what is colloquially known as “skwatta juice” – blood, urine, bile and other nasty human liquids which ooze out of corpses lying in their watery tombs and into the water table, or flow unfiltered from the thousands of squatter camps into the municipal water works – especially during power failures.